Laughtership

In my twenty-two years as a full-time public educator, my most enjoyable teaching assignment happened to be at the school where the principal had a lively sense of humour. My most enjoyable job in my non-teaching work life was with a boss who also enjoyed humour as part of every work day. I don’t believe that this is in any way coincidental.

Our superior(s) can set a positive tone by sharing appropriate, healthy humour at work. This tells us that it is okay to laugh and that we can share our own humour. Even if they are not the joke-telling or story-sharing types, their interest in others’ humourous anecdotes gives us permission to share our humour.

By indicating in one fashion or another that humour on the job is allowed and appreciated, they are showing their good judgement and wisdom. A lighthearted atmosphere in a workplace helps increase our job effectiveness.

It is surprising how the 19th century mentality towards workplace humour exists in so many organizations today. Many workplaces suffer from it. Some leaders still believe that you do your work first and enjoy yourself later – after work. They believe that it is not possible to have fun and get your work done.

This may have a grain of truth to it. In certain situations, humour and laughter can be used to avoid work, but the vast majority of employees have accountability measures in place to make this an infrequent occurrence. Most modern day workplaces rely on teamwork and effective communication, which is fostered by healthy workplace humour.

The company where I worked for a year after leaving teaching encouraged humour and laughter throughout the day. When times were hectic, there was less overt humour. But what existed was a can-do, focused positive energy when deadlines were tight, rather than the “weight-of-the-world-on-our-shoulders-we’re-all-going-to-lose our-jobs” mentality.

As human beings, we sometimes have tendency to make mountains out of molehills – to “awfulize” things. Very little in life is of life and death significance. We do ourselves no favours by “flapping” and putting ourselves into an anxious state. It’s important to be focused and effective in our work. (Or as Stephen Covey put it, “It’s more important to be effective than efficient.”) Our immediate superior can help create faith in our individual and collective efforts by leading in a lighthearted manner.

Perhaps the greatest benefit of lighthearted leadership is that it takes the vertical leadership model and turns it into a horizontal one. Instead of the perception of people above (and below) us in organizational status, it creates an emphasis on everyone’s value. Everyone feels that they are a vital part of the team, regardless of their role, which encourages contributions to organizational effectiveness from all stakeholders, not to mention positive morale.

It helps tremendously to have a boss with a sense of humour. Supervisor, manager, vice president, principal, administrator, whatever the organization calls them, they should embrace the principle of “Laughtership” – leading with lightness and laughter.

Humour is always nearby

In January, 2006, I suffered a heart attack. Actually, the “suffering” was very brief for me, as I was taken to hospital quickly and once there, pain medication given to me right away. The heart attack was classified as a minor one. I spent three days in the hospital and was back to work soon.

My family and friends suffered much more than I did with their concern for my well being. I actually had quite a lot of fun once the pain settled down. Part of the humour came naturally as I attempted to distract myself from the worrisome thoughts that occur in such a situation.

The universe helped by providing a great deal of humour along the way. When the diagnosis of a heart attack was confirmed in the emergency room of the hospital, I was taken up to the angioplasty lab and introduced to my cardiologist, Dr. David Goodhart. Yes, Dr. Goodhart. I couldn’t help but chuckle when the introduction was made. It seemed like a good omen as well as a remarkable and funny coincidence – your doctor’s name being the actual desired outcome of the surgical procedure. I highly recommend it when choosing a physician. It worked for me! There were several other amusing incidents that occurred during my three day stay at the hospital, helping it to be a time of rest and recovery, while minimizing anxiety.

My point in sharing this story is that even in times of crisis or when life is challenging, life is still funny. Even if it’s not, we can create humour where no inherent humour exists. Being overly serious in most situations does not help us – it only piles on stress and makes things more difficult. I was appropriately serious – I got to the hospital quickly and put my care into the hands of the highly skilled (and appropriately named) health care professionals.

Once I had done that, I let go of things I could not control and actually enjoyed being pampered, having expressions of concern from loved ones and friends showered on me, and enjoyed the comedy of everyday life that exists everywhere.

When trails and tribulations come around in life, as they inevitably do, lay back, let others do what they need to do and keep your eyes and ears open for the ongoing comedy of life. It can only help you.

#1 Strategy for positive, productive staff meetings

When I left teaching in 2001, I worked for a company called Custom Learning Systems for one year. CLS provides service excellence training programs for health care organizations.

Appropriate, healthy humour at CLS is valued as part of a productive, zesty, collegial staff atmosphere. It is demonstrated, practiced and encouraged. One technique that I have never seen fail to elicit laughter and maintain a positive atmosphere or even transform a not-so-positive mood is the “good news” technique which was always used to kick off a staff meeting.

The fifteen of us would gather for the weekly hour long staff meeting in the board room. Before the meeting would start, we would go around the table and everyone was required to share two pieces of positive news – one personal and one professional – that had happened in the last week. The rule was that the buck stopped with each person. You had to give two positive items before we would proceed to the next person.

The purpose was to start the meeting off in a positive frame of mind. The spinoff benefit was it always created a tremendous amount of laughter as we went around the room. Some people would get stuck, thereby subjecting themselves to good natured teasing about various possibilities. Sometimes the tongue-tied individual would finally blurt out something just to relieve the pressure. Often it was something unusual or even bizarre, prompting gales of laughter from the assembly.

By the time we made it around the table, seven or eight minutes of the hour had passed. But with all the applause and laughter generated, the investment of time was worth it. We were invaraibly a happy group as we faced the first agenda item. This happiness translated into a can-do attitude. Problems became challenges. Creative juices flowed. And that mood stayed with us throughout the meeting.

Try this in your staff meeting. With a larger group, you will have to structure it somewhat differently, but it is doable – and worth it.

It’s hard to find a “sure thing” these days, but I’ve never seen this technique fail.

Don’t judge a potato by its skin

Eating some potato salad recently, I had my curiosity stirred about this dietary staple. (It was a slow day and I had way too much time on my hands.)

I located the website “www.potatoexpo.com” to find out more. Under ‘Idaho Potato History’, I found the article ‘A History of the Potato in Idaho’ by James W. Davis, excerpted from Aristocrat in Burlap. An aristocrat joining me at my dinner table multiple times per week, and I never paid it the respect it deserved? Oh, the shame!

The website was a page turner…make that a scroll downer. I learned many fascinating potato facts. For example, “Pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley on July 22, 1847. On July 24, a five acre potato patch was ploughed and seed potatoes planted. The first irrigation in Salt Lake Valley was for the benefit of the newly planted potatoes. A week later the potatoes were growing.” Informative AND suspenseful!

The website answers such crucial queries as “Why Idaho? The correct combination of the elements?” How many of us have dared to ask this very question?

“The Idaho’s World Potato Exposition: A brief history of struggles and triumph” was inspiring. The eradication of smallpox and the abolition of slavery pale in comparison to this epic battle.

And who can forget when… “Don Bass made national news when he let radio personality Arthur Godfrey know that potatoes were not fattening as he stated on his radio show. It’s the toppings people put on their potato that is the fattening part.” For this stellar defence, Don was enshrined in the Idaho Potato Hall of Fame in 2000 – really.

How many of us have blindly overlooked the subtle, yet undeniable appeal of potatoes? On the website, a picture of a blond woman bearing a stunning resemblance to Marilyn Monroe is chicly outfitted in a form-fitting burlap sack. Some potatoes!

I even checked the Merriam Webster online dictionary for a definition. I found out that potato means “an erect South American herb (Solanum tuberosum) of the nightshade family widely cultivated for its edible starchy tuber.” I blushed. The potato is way sexier than I could have imagined!

But what about their motto at the Idaho Potato Museum – “ ‘We give taters to Out-Of-Staters’? With each paid adult admission, you will receive a box of yummy hash browns to take home with you!” In a world where inclusiveness is the norm, shouldn’t ‘in-staters’ get theirs, too?

Since I have had intimate contact with potatoes approximately 10,000 times in my life, I feel qualified to make two suggestions to further enhance the pizzazz factor of the museum. It would be fabulous to be greeted by a group of cheerleaders chanting:

“In-staters,
Out-of-staters,
We just know
You’ll love our taters!”

I also propose recorded music playing in the background, but substituting the word ‘tater’ for ‘stranger’. Just think…Tony Bennett singing Tater in Paradise, Willie Nelson’s Red Headed Tater, Del Shannon’s sixties rock lament Tater in Town, Sinatra crooning Taters in the Night, and perhaps most apropos, The Payolas 1981 hit Eyes of a Tater.

Its time has arrived. Let us no longer look down on the noble potato. It behooves us to treat this mealy, mighty tuber with the respect it deserves!

And don’t call it spud until you have earned its respect and affection.

A long way from the promised land

This post is dedicated to Ken Cooper, my 92 year young friend.

I love senior citizens – their stories, their toughness and their determination to carry on their lives as normally as possible, regardless of their birth date or health-related issues.

Recently, outside a local hospital, I met an elderly couple. I had just finished dealing with one of the new, “improved” parking meters that now grace downtown streets in Calgary. They require you to digitally enter your parking zone, license plate, the average annual rainfall of the Amazon basin, etc. After several encounters where I felt they were simply money gobbling slot machines, I had finally figured them out.

The couple asked me for assistance as they were having trouble dealing with the meter. I helped them enter their parking zone number, their licence plate number and time required. It turned out they didn’t have the correct change. I asked if they had a credit card, which was the alternative means of paying. The man said he did, but pulled out a bank card. When I told him it wasn’t the proper card for the machine, he said that was all he had. I then took the opportunity at hand and paid their parking fee for them.

They were very gracious and it gave me a warm feeling to be able to help. I chatted with them and introduced myself. They shared their names. Their given names were Joseph and Maria! I chuckled inwardly – downtown Calgary is a long way from Bethlehem!

In my curiosity, I asked Joseph how old he was. He furrowed his brow, considered the question and finally said, “Well…I was born in 1922.” We chatted briefly and I walked with them into the hospital.

I hope their appointment went well. They certainly made my day.

Young children are hilarious

Young children are the funniest people in the world.

This is true for many reasons. They are very innocent and honest. They are delightful and funny in their attempts to master language. They see the humour in the simplest of situations. Their unique perceptions of the world are amazing, fresh and often hilarious. In addition, they have not yet acquired the social filters to know when something would be considered impolite by polite adults in a given situation.

They are easily forgiven their humour trespasses because there is no intent to insult or injure with their humour.

A child in a class I was teaching came up to me one time and took me aside and asked, “Can I tell you something?” I felt that there was a significant secret or something of crucial importance to be shared and I assured her that she could tell me anything. She whispered, “You have big ears.”

Sometimes they are funny just being themselves and exploring their world. I was walking into my local YMCA recently, just behind a mother and her young son, who appeared to be about 2 ½ years old. As he approached the entry door, he noticed the large handicapped door-opening button. It was the perfect height. He stepped up to it and head-butted it with just the right amount of force; the door opened, while I tried to control my laughter.

I taught a kindergarten class once. A boy at the sand table suddenly whirled around and looked for me. He spotted me and ran immediately to where I was standing. He said with great urgency, “Knock, knock!”

I replied, “Who’s there?”

He said, “Apple!”

I responded, “Apple who?”

He yelled, “I’m going to Mercury!” and ran off, laughing wildly and waving his hands in the air.

The humour of five year olds isn’t too sophisticated, but you have to admit it – they have a wonderful sense of the absurd.

Make any day a better one by spending time with a young child.

Do NOT give up chocolate or wine!

Do not give up chocolate, wine, or for that matter, any of your vices or pleasures, unless, of course, they are life-threatening or cause you or others considerable distress.

In our search for wellness and good health, the fastest road to failure is attempting to relinquish life’s pleasures. You will not change a habit or lifestyle overnight. It simply doesn’t work. Our patterns and habits are hardwired into our brains.

This is where moderation comes in. If you feel your consumption of any food or beverage is not healthy, it is more realistic to ask yourself to cut back on consumption than eliminate the substance. That may be a first step to elimination or it may be the goal itself – to cut back to healthier or safer levels.

Moderation works if we are willing to shape our behaviours. Human beings are incredibly adaptable. Having said that, will power is overrated. We need to look at a long term wellness goal, then take the first, gradual step to literally rewiring our brain in pursuit of that long term objective. Recent findings in the area of brain plasticity tell us that extraordinary changes, literally changing the neural pathways in our brain, is possible, but it’s a medium to long term process that includes many little cumulative changes along the way. The beauty of neuroplasticity lies in the fact that changes in our brain, implemented with respect to how the process takes place, are permanent. (Read or listen to Norman Doidge’s The Brain That Changes Itself.)

There is good reason to be kind and gentle with yourself in expecting slow, gradual change in your pursuit of wellness and life balance.

Don’t try to do it all at once. Remember, everything in moderation…including moderation. And don’t try to eliminate the four essential food groups – alcohol, sugar, caffeine and fat.

A Lighthearted Approach to Wellness

Oscar Wilde said, “Life is too serious to be taken seriously.”

He was correct. And like many aspects of life, wellness is too serious to be taken seriously. To be mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy simultaneously seems daunting, if not the impossible dream. We need to take a “lighthearted” approach to wellness, so as not to take it too seriously and have the pursuit of it become just another stressor in our lives.

We live in an unnatural time, for lack of a better term. Our pace of life in our society is extraordinary. We live with constant information overload. While our bodies are made to move, many people get by without any meaningful activity or exercise. We have a tremendous array of processed, chemical-laden food at our fingertips. There are health threats, terrorism threats, climate change and crime to add to our anxiety.

No wonder we are tempted to live for the moment or reach for that therapeutic martini (or two) at the end of the day. But there is one tool that has fewer side effects than drugs and alcohol, and those side effects are positive – laughter.

Our sense of humour may be our best ally in the search for wellness and life balance. Laughter does not change reality, but it can help us change our perspective to a more realistic, healthy one, thereby improving our ability to deal with our current situation, stressor, or annoyance. Humour helps us to think more clearly by reducing stress, thereby helping us to be better problem solvers.

Humour helps us take our challenges seriously, while taking ourselves lightly. None of us are superhuman, and yet, we often have unrealistic expectations for ourselves, which includes our wellness goals.

There are very few things that can’t be laughed at. Relationship problems, work challenges, frustrations of living in a fast-paced society, even illness and death can be laughed at. We need to laugh at the things that frighten us, challenge us and that we have no control over. It’s all part of life. We need to remember and accept that fact. Adopting a humourous perspective is a choice we can make. We need to choose to laugh and make the effort to create humour at times where there is no inherent humour. It’s easy to laugh when life is good, but more important to laugh when life is challenging. (See my blog on finding humour with an elderly parent.)

So use your sense of humour. We all have one. I know you’re thinking, “No, my boss doesn’t have one” or “My ex definitely has NO sense of humour” – but you do! Humour is, among other things, a skill. No matter what your level of skill is, you can express your own unique sense of humour and incrementally increase your humour skills. And you just might have a lot of fun doing it.

The Nosey Way of Handling Daily Annoyances with Humour

I was asked once by a magazine writer about how to instantly go from a state of anger or extreme frustration to side-splitting laughter. She might well have asked me for the winning numbers on the next fifty million dollar lottery.

Lightening up to the point of laughing out loud when you have already reached the boiling point is virtually impossible – and not necessary. On the other hand, finding or creating something which will make you smile, giving you an inner or outer chuckle, is an effective tool for breaking out of negative responses.

Let’s face it – being stuck in a bank lineup is no big deal compared to being a soldier in the midst of battle. You don’t have to be side-splittingly funny (a challenge for most of us at the best of times) to change your mindset and calm your body. Simply find something that will put the situation in perspective or just distract you from it.

Purchase a foam clown nose and carry it around in your pocket. When you are in that long bank lineup, just put it on. Something will happen! Or if you’re really an extrovert, you can shout, “Hey, you bankers can’t treat us like we’re a bunch of clowns…wait a minute.”

If you are not comfortable drawing attention to yourself, the clown nose is still a valuable tool. For example, keep one in your car. When others’ driving irritates you, slip it on and take a glance (a quick one, please) in your rear-view mirror – I have. With the crease that appears in the nose from the widening of the slot as I put it on, I find it impossible to take myself seriously when an object that looks like a little red bum is visible in the middle of my face.

While it’s easy to laugh when times are good, it is more important to find humour when times are challenging or when daily annoyances start to assume too much importance in our lives. Choose to lighten up, smile, have an inner chuckle, or laugh out loud. It’s better for your health and happiness in the short and long term.

FINDING HUMOUR WITH YOUR ELDERLY PARENT

Q. What do a harp and an elderly parent have in common?

A. They are both unforgiving and difficult to get in and out of cars.

My mother passed away at the age of 88 three years ago this month. While I admired and respected her courage, strength, and devotion to family, at times she left me scratching my head because of some of the decisions she made in her later years. While my mother was of sound mind until the very end of her life, I was sometimes frustrated because of what I perceived as illogical decisions that went as far as jeopardizing her health and safety.

To deal with the frustration, I resorted to laughter and humourous perspective, quite often using the harp-parent riddle above. Humour is a gift to us in difficult times and situations; it’s easy to laugh when times are good, but more important to laugh when times are tough. Regardless of the faith or world view from which you operate, it’s difficult to argue against using humour to help us through life’s challenges.

Finding humour is in all likelihood an evolutionary adaptation to help us deal with emotional pain and stress. It makes sense. Think of the laughter mingled with tears and grief when we celebrate and mourn the loss of a loved one.

The key is finding humour. Don’t wait for it to find you. Emergency room personnel, paramedics, police and firefighters make dark “jokes” in situations which, heard out of context by non-participants, would cause many to recoil in horror or disgust. However, it is not meant for our ears. It is a coping mechanism that allows them to keep their sanity and continue to function in unimaginably awful circumstances.

If you accept this concept, then nothing is out of bounds when poking fun. Many situations have no inherent humour in them, but finding and using humour is often the best way to cope and even thrive in these circumstances. When we use humour to make fun of a situation, an illness or any unpleasant aspect of life, it loses its power over us and helps us move forward. The key distinction is poking fun at the challenge, not the person facing the challenge. The one exception is making fun of yourself. If you have the problem, by all means poke fun at your reactions or how you tend to handle things.

So, do laugh about your parent’s odd habits and strange decisions. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself – and it will help you to serve them better.

By the way, did I tell you the one about the elderly parent who refused to replace her dead thirty-five year old refrigerator because she couldn’t find one for the same price?